Florida Oh Florida..How I Love You Florida…

From Kansas to Florida..also known as…From Hell to Heaven! Haha! Many of you know I am a Tennessee girl but lived the last two years in Manhattan, Kansas. It was a very tough two years. It was never designed to be an easy situation for me. Stephen deployed right away and I soon learned that Kansas was not the place for a girl with seasonal depression. The winters in Kansas start in the fall and end late spring, they are brutally cold and obnoxiously snowy. The summers are sizzling hot and dry, which I thoroughly enjoyed! I have always been a heat addict, so I was thrilled when we got orders to Florida!

Ever since I realized that I suffered from seasonal depression, Florida became my dream. I had seen it work wonders in my Dad’s life. He is the one that passed seasonal depression down to me, and since he has been spending his winters in Florida he seems to be a new man. So needless to say when we got the good news that we were relocating, I was beyond excited! Let me say it has been all that I expected and more.

I have never felt more in my element. The sun stings my skin and I feel free! In the morning I like to get up, have some coffee, and then drive down to the beach. Its about a 7 minute drive, which is nothing. The sand is fresh from the night tide and the sun is still low in the sky. The seashells are scattered face up ready to be collected and the seagulls are on the prowl for little crabs. Its absolutely gorgeous!! Usually at this time there are a few sun bathers reading their books in their lounge chairs, but I am the only runner. Most of the runners have already came and gone but I like to wait for a bit more heat to fill up the air. As I jog toward the sun I can trace the footsteps of the joggers that hit the sand before me (You can tell who was running by the tracks they leave). I like to compete with them in my mind. A couple miles down the sand I am all alone and it is simply stunning! Once I reach my goal and decided to turn around, I like to just stare out over the ocean for a minute. It is truly remarkable to stand at the cusp of two entirely different worlds. Here I am on land, with my toes touching a world that is nothing like my own. We take the ocean for granted because it is so close, but truth be told its as far away as Mars. We cannot live in the ocean, we can only observe it, visit it, put our special suits on to explore it. We will continually be amazed by it as we find new life and new depths. When I stand in the sand and the waves crush against my legs I am reminded of the miraculous place I am standing and wonder how close I am to heaven as well.

Other than the morning runs on the beach I am drawn there, like a moth to a flame, almost daily. From my street you can see the water and it gets me all amped up for a beach trip even if its just for a few minutes. Everyday the ocean is different. Somedays its wavy and dark green with sea weed, other days its calm and clear. Last week I went with Katie and we were blessed to see a gorgeous pack of dolphins. We saw them jumping and playing from the beach and then again from the pier. The angle from the pier was spectacular! We could see straight through the water and watch as they spun, played, and jumped. I had never been so amazed. We also had the pleasure of seeing a beautiful sea turtle and several large schools of fish. It was a wonderful day.

In addition to the obvious reason why Florida is great, I am also fascinated by all the litter creatures I have in my backyard, from lizards to salamanders to frogs and gorgeous dragonflies. The birds are beautiful as well!

Even though I have had to spend a lot of time alone because of Stephen’s job, I am truly happy here. I know they say if you are happy you can be happy anywhere…or some crap like that…Well I believe that is true to a point, but I know that certain places pick certain people and this place has PICKED me!! The girl who loves God, Nature, and all the Animals of the world couldn’t be happier

Facebook Oh Facebook!

Ok so I am just gonna put it out there! I deleted Facebook because I was being FB stalked and ridiculed for certain comments I made. I wanted to be able to express myself freely and by deleting my page I was trying to make a statement to CERTAIN people! I wanted certain people to know that I was not going to censor my life to please them, but instead I was going to make my life inaccessible to them!

While I had every intention to stick with it, I had to reinstate my page. Why? Well because I am no where NEAR (geographically) my family and close friends, and because I am a military spouse, I probably wont be for a very long time! Presently, I am in Florida where it is GORGEOUS, but I do most things alone. Stephen is at a 5 week training school so my days are compiled of school, housework, dogs, and work……But ALONE! Sure he will be back soon, but he will leave again and again and again…

I tried to keep up through emails and phone calls but lets face it thats next to impossible with 350 minutes per month and everyone on different schedules and time zones. I felt my connections suffer and I didn’t like that.

Quickly, a little list of annoying Facebook habits. These people ruin it for the rest of us: (Meant to be humorous.Lets not get bent out of shape

1. Obviously my pet peeve….PROFILE STALKERS!!! If you are a person who never updates your status, never comments on your friends page, never interacts in ANY WAY yet you are on FB everyday looking through countless messages and photos belonging to your friends, GET OFF FACEBOOK!!! You are not a friend you are a very disturbed person that needs counseling and a LIFE!! GEEEZ!!!!!!

2. THE PHONY HAPPY PERSON! If your facebook page is simply there to convince others that you woke up to birds singing on your bed posts and flowers blooming all around you, I just want you to know you are not fooling anyone! LOL!! Come on people lets get real! If you want to have real relationships you can’t just post like Mary Poppins! I love happy positive people but after a while you have to start to wonder if its an act. Sorry its true.

3. MEAN PEOPLE!!!! Comments like “Some People Are Gonna Get What’s Coming To Them!” or  ”HE CAN GO OUT TONIGHT I HOPE HE GETS IN A WRECK AND DIES!”…..Seriously these are real examples! WEIRDOS!!!! SCARY!!! Listen we all get angry and think things we shouldn’t but when you write stuff like this it scares people…it really truly does…..LOL!

Ok Thats all I’ve got for now!

Im excited to be back and under better circumstances. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Back In Florida And The Sun Is Out!

Well folks Im back! After nearly three weeks away, divided between Oklahoma and Tennessee, I am back in Florida. Stephen and I saw each other for the first time this weekend and it was really nice. We have begun our quest to find the perfect church but yesterday was a swing and a miss. LOL!

Our neighbors down the street pastor The Mary Esther Church of God. They invited me, while rescuing me from a lawnmower disaster, last week. Stephen had attended a Church of God before but I had not, so he was familiar with the general style of service. Everyone was very friendly, the praise and worship was wonderful, but we decided the theatrics of the preaching style was a bit distracting. The church was also comprised of mainly seniors, which is wonderful but we are in serious need of some christian friends our age. Having said all that, it was a lovely church full of lovely people and we did receive a beautiful message that day. We are very grateful that we were invited and treated so kindly. Thank you Mary Esther Church of God!

Next week we will try a new place Pray for us!

Quickly~Stephen bought a motorcycle while I was gone. I am not happy about it. I am scared! It is dangerous! It was too expensive!…..I am choosing to ignore this and have faith he will be safe. Prayers needed!!!! HAHA!

Last Friday I came home to a new marriage, and a renewed hope! Family interference will no longer plague us! The last three weeks God worked in a powerful way that is truly a testament to his existence! Strong holds were broken and truths were revealed. The spirit of rejection that had covered me for years, damaging my relationships and holding me back from trusting, was lifted. Stephen gave up video games, deleted all of his video game subscriptions, and no longer has the desire to play. He told me he wants to be happy and that the games were ruling his life. We spent the weekend enjoying each others company, talking about REAL things, and NOT zoning out or disconnecting. There is still much to be done, but we are committed to raising the bar! We wont stand for a “mainstream” marriage of merely co-existing and searching for ways to numb ourselves out just to make it through. We know we can have all the things that God wanted for us when he created life and created marriage. We can feel love, experience joy, and know the ultimate connection that he designed for us and wants for us, with him at the CENTER of course

I know some of you might be thinking. Why is she telling us such personal details of her life???? WHY NOT!!?? Im not telling you everything, but I am telling you things I believe you need to hear. Some of you have been through this, some of you are in the midst of it now! There is a season for everything. We all most move from fall to winter, from winter to spring…. The transition isn’t always easy but every season is necessary. Winter is a time for old things to die, the earth to be still and rest, its darker and colder but it has to happen. When spring comes, the seeds that were dormant struggle to push their way to the surface. Every thing is new and fragile, but beautiful and fresh. We appreciate it all so much more because we waited so long for it to arrive.

Life is the same way. No one is exempt. Why deny the seasons of our lives when we can reach out to one another and help each other through? My summer might be your winter. I want to be there to shine a little light and remind you spring is around the bend. I hope you would do the same for me.

LOVE YOU GUYS XOXOXO

Thanks Bub!

So Im going through some hard stuff..yadayadayada…anyway
My brother comes by today. He says “Well at least you look good.”
I said, “Oh Thanks thats very sweet.”
He said, “You know it could always be worse. You could be going through all this stuff and not look good.”

Thanks Bub for the perspective! I love you and feel better already!!!

A Story From God To Me….To You:

There are two families, seemingly the same from the outside, but very different in fact. Their homes are located in the same neighborhood and their kids go to the same school, but that is where their similarities end.

One night as God was looking down at his corrupted creation, once filled with lush green forests, healthy animals, and strong communities, he decided it was time for a big change. God decided he was going to turn all materialistic junk and man-made distractions to sand, leaving only the necessities behind.

Instantly, in a blink of an eye, homes crumbled, big TVs vanished, computers blew away, and fancy cars turned to dust! Families crawled out from the rubble in disbelief by what they saw.

How did our two, seemingly the same, yet vastly different families react? Well they reacted very differently, of course…

The first family, The Smiths, were distraught and confused at first (who wouldn’t be?), but Momma Smith, with her infinite positivity, pointed out to her husband and kids just how beautiful the sky looked without all of the city lights to drown out the stars. Mr. Smith agreed, “Yeah kids, it looks like the sky at the lake where we go camping! Here are some blankets, lets pretend we are camping out by the lake and gaze at the stars together. It will all be better tomorrow.” Mrs. Smith grabbed the blankets from her wonderful husband, and began setting the scene for her sweet little family camp out. They spent the evening telling stories, staring at the sky, and singing little songs they learned at church. As his family slipped off to sleep on their pile of sand, Mr. Smith, just thanked God for their safety, then he drifted off to sleep as well.

The second family, The Andersons, emerged from the rubble distraught and confused as well, but rather than finding a away to find peace, their distress only grew. Mrs. Anderson SCREAMED and MOANED, “OHH No! My car!! Oh and my beautiful bathroom, we just had it remodeled!! What are we going to do?? GOD what are we going to do??” Mr. Anderson, was of no comfort to his panic stricken wife, as he was simply handicapped by the loss of his huge flat screen TV, and the private man room he recently built in order to get away from his family in the evenings. The kids were a balling mess, pulling at their momma’s skirt, asking, “Mom, what happened to our TV, our playstation, our computer…? MOM!! When are we gonna get our stuff back??? MOM!! We can’t live out here like this! What are YOU going to do?”

Soon The Andersons’ frantic panic turned to a quiet hum. The family of four sat on their pile of sand with tears running down their faces, staring straight ahead in a trance; ironically much like the position they were in most evening’s, but without the mindless media to entertain them. The chance of sleep was an impossibility, for their lives were over.

After several hours passed, the devil payed a visit to The Andersons. “Oh you poor dears!” He said as he climb to top off of their sand pile. “Well, this is completely unacceptable! You all cannot live this way. Where is your TV? Your big beds? You computer’s?”  The entire family jumped up, grappled with the sand, and pulled their way toward the logically concerned man. Mrs. Anderson said, “Finally someone has come to help us! Sir, everything we love is gone! Please can you help us?”  The devil responded, “Of course I can help you. I will give you back all of your things, so you can have a restful night sleep. How does that sound?” The entire family jumped for joy, claiming they would do ANYTHING to have their stuff back!

The devil met their request and gave them beautiful bedroom sets, brand new TVs, and computers right there on the sand. The family instantly dispersed, crawled in their big luxurious beds, turned on their TV and computers, and indulged in their usual nightly rituals. Before they knew it, they were all asleep with the noise of infomercials playing softly in the background.

As the night turned to morning the sand could not take the weight of all The Andersons’ stuff. Slowly as the minutes passed, their beds sunk into the sand and they were buried beneath the rubble forever.

As the sun rose, The Smiths woke up to a gorgeous blue sky and crystal clear lake that came right up to their toes. They could not believe the beauty that was before them. They stood in amazement, quietly asking, “Where did this lake come from?”  But they all knew it was God, they had seen his works before.

Just then, two boats floated up to the shore. One was a modest little row boat and the other was a majestically beautiful ship. The kids hollered in unison, “WOW! Look at that big ship! Should we get on?”  Mrs. Smith said, “No babies, lets leave that ship for all other families. Im sure someone else will need it.”  Mr Smith nodded and smiled, “Kids that row boat has our name on it. Come on lets see where it takes us!”

They jumped in the boat….and followed the SON…..

quick update…

I have now reached delirium! Yesterday I drove 10 hrs to get to Tulsa Oklahoma to be with my mom. I started my period and I have fallen ill with some sort of wicked summer time cold! I am running a low grade fever, my throat is swollen, and my nose is running like a faucet. In addition, I am suffering from my typical near death period pain. What do I have to say to all this??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I mean seriously?? LOL!
Anyhow, some of you will see the humor in this as you are aware of everything that has happened lately, while others will just think, “so what? she just has a cold!” To that, I say….HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Be back when I am better and I have something good to talk about! Love you guys!

GREEK YOGURT IS GREAT!!

I just have to share this with you guys. You absolutely have to try Greek Yogurt, if you havent already! I recently read an article about its benefits and it blows our standard yogurt out of the water. The yogurt most of us eat because we think its healthy, is in fact loaded down with sugar. Greek yogurt is sweetened very little and naturally, it is also fat free and has DOUBLE the amount of protein. If all this wasn’t enough, it is DELICIOUS and Filling!! I like the kind with strawberry on the bottom it tastes just like strawberry cheesecake:) And last week I used the plain as a substitute for sour cream on my homemade shrimp tacos, essentially eliminating anything bad from the meal without sacrificing taste.
In my efforts to lose weight I have tried many different things and so far this little snack has helped tremendously. You will be surprised how long you stay full and satisfied Give it a try. XOXOXO

I Deleted My Facebook Last Night

Last night Lainer’s Facebook page went down in a blaze of glory…haha! Seriously, it was hard! Years of photos, years of experiences, and a group of very solid relationships were represented on that page.

I really started to get into Facebook when I moved away from everyone two years ago. It became a very effective way to interact and keep up all the people I love. In addition, I was able to reach out to old friends and distant family, which never would have happened otherwise.

I reconnected with an old, dear friend named Corrie. She would go on to be my marital guru and confidant, as well as a strong spiritual advisor. She lovingly encouraged me and reminded me of things to come as I was just a baby in my marriage and ready to go to the next level in my walk with Christ. All of our correspondence was via facebook, except for a life changing book she so kindly mailed to me. Had I not expressed myself so openly she would have never seen my need, and had she never seen my need, I certainly know I would not be the woman I am today. Thank you Corrie

I also reconnected with an older cousin, Des. Growing up our age difference kept us from getting too close and then at the age of ten my family moved us across the country, resulting in a 2,000 mile gap. After childhood trips to visit our extended west coast family began to fade, so did the already suffering relationships. As I grew older I began to feel like a stranger amongst my cousins. They were all so active in each other’s lives, and my brother and I were just the kids they knew nothing about that came to visit once a year. That was ok and nobody’s fault, just something that happens when such great distance is involved. As an adult, I knew I would always love my family but accepted the fact that a chance of true closeness was a thing of the past. I was wrong and Facebook would be the one to prove me wrong! Several months ago Des (as well as several other family members) and I found each other and what a blessing it has been in my life. Growing up away from your family can leave such holes. Holes that are hard to identify until they are filled again. Often times I have wondered, “Is there anyone out there just like me?” or “Why am I the only one that thinks like this…or cares about that…?” These questions were always brought on by self doubt and a feeling like I don’t belong because I am a little bit different. Meeting Des as a grown woman filled all the voids. She is amazing and strong, yet sensitive and vulnerable. She is a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and sister. She is everything anyone could hope to be and she makes me feel pretty lucky to be just the way I am because I am a lot like her. Thank you Facebook for building that bridge to the west coast, Thank you God for my family, and Thank You Des

These are just two examples of people I would have never had a relationship with if it hadn’t been for facebook, but this list goes on and on. In addition, there have been several very important people I have been able to follow as their lives unfolded in such beautiful ways.

I intended on discussing why I had to bid Facebook farewell, but this post is too positive and happy to even go there

I just wanted to speak my peace about the positivity of the site, if used in the correct ways. Facebook I love you…till we meet again!

Just A Little Update!

Yesterday I decided to come home (Nashville) for a little Rest and Relaxation. The last week has been quite exhausting and through it all my family has been such a positive force. I knew it was time, after two years of separation, for me to come home for an extended visit, soak up some love, and hopefully give some back in return. There are times in life when you really have to go back to the beginning, look down the path you have walked, and gain a little perspective. Hopefully you are lucky enough to have some great support cheering you on!
So, I packed up around 2pm yesterday. My loyal steed Maggie hopped in my suit case and made her stance known, so I spent a little time assuring her that she and Rambo were coming too Then we hit the road.
My Dad met us at the door with kind loving words and my room prepared for me. He insisted that I sleep as long as I can and that he would take care of the dogs in the morning. I WOKE UP AT 11:00!!! I can’t remember the last time that happened. I was so thankful to get some rest.
Today we plan to see a movie and just spend time together. I will let you all know how the day goes and throw in a movie review for free
Remember I love you all!!!

Thankful!!

Do not invest so much of yourself into the happiness of others that when your strength is needed you have nothing to give yourself. It is important to love everyone, but you do not have to invest in everyone on a daily basis. Identify the people in your life that freely feed you and that you know are fed by you as well. These are the people that speak positivity over you and to you. These are the people that know you even when you are unidentifiable to yourself. These are the people that challenge you in a loving way because they want to see you grow and succeed. It is easy to let negative people slowly filter into your life. These people can be very charming at first, but over time you might find that you don’t feel so good about yourself when you are around them. This feeling does not mean there is anything wrong with you!! It is your spirit telling you to flee! The Bible says, “Do not throw your pearls before swine!”  This does not mean you shouldn’t help people if you can, but  you cannot allow people to help themselves to you when ever they please!!

I recently faced an opposition of great proportions! The actions towards me were shocking and hurtful, and I was left pretty lost (to put it mildly). Anytime I find myself in a place similar to this I always look to God to strengthen me through it and reveal to me something new, and BOY did he deliver! For one, he sent me the message above. I knew I needed to share it with you, because we all need to be reminded of the ways God shows us his love. He uses the people around us in many cases, they are like angels Secondly, he forced me to recognize that I am a very crucial part of his body, as we all are. If I am trying to be something I’m not or if I alter myself to suffice others, I am saying to God that he messed up when he made me. In addition, I am denying my purpose and the gifts I have to share.

Friends, I am sharing this with you because I know you have all been where I was and I want to remind you of your individual greatness!

So here is your homework:

What part of the body are you? In your heart you know that answer to this question. What qualities in you do you deny for others that perhaps God wants you to let shine upon the world?

Be you because you are VITAL to this planet. Find that friend that loves you to no end and tell them what they mean to you today!

I Love You XOXO